We have all been in a situation where you’re having a conversation with someone and can’t quite remember everything that person said. Don’t let that be the case when it comes to leadership & business interactions; you don’t want your colleagues, employees or customers to think you aren’t listening to what they have to say.

Neuroscience research has proven that people’s brains produce oxytocin, the “social bonding” chemical, when they feel they’re being listened to. The production of oxytocin can lead to more trust between you and others, ultimately increasing your chances of success with others. Oxytocin also increases your ability to anchor and remember details about others.

I am currently coaching 5 different leaders who are working on elevating their “Insight” skills. They want to have more awareness, perceptiveness and understanding when interacting with others.

The five conversational essentials in Conversational Intelligence help us create conditions and interactions that elevate our insight & comprehension when we are engaged with others.

  1. Prime for Trust – create a safe environment. Exhibit behaviors and say words that shift the other person from protect mode to a partner mode and enable you to listen to connect and relax judgement.
  2. Be Open to Influence – this is a mindset and an attitude. Be open to deeply hearing what the others say without filtering it through your own agenda. Let go of wanting to be right and find the most powerful insights and answers in the process of connecting and synthesizing ideas.
  3. Ask Questions for Which You Have No Answers & Double Click – stay in a discovery mindset. Too often we ask questions to guide people where we want them to go. This can feel manipulative and put people on guard. Open up a discussion by double clicking on words or conversations through asking: Why? What does this mean? What else?
  4. Sustain Conversational Agility – be able to move into different types of conversations with ease and the ability to create and maintain harmony. Reframing, refocusing and redirecting enable you to be conversationally agile. The 3 R’s enable you to go deeper with others and get amazing results.
  5. Listen to Connect – not judge, confirm or reject. Focus on the other person, not yourself. What are they trying to say? What are they thinking? How are they feeling? Connect to & explore their world.

Research shows that 9 out of 10 conversations miss the mark! Developing your insight skills and conversational intelligence will help to improve that ratio.

Cheryl Good is one of only 250 Executive Coaches in the world who is certified in Conversational Intelligence. Learn more at her website www.CherylGood.com or contact her at PerformanceSolutions@CherylGood.com for information about how to increase accountability to results, heighten organizational performance and increase employee engagement.